


A Focal Point, A Makeshift Gauge

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Inspired by the song "I Found" by Amber Run.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	A Focal Point, A Makeshift Gauge

And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be  
Right in front of me, talk some sense to me

He wasn’t sure where it all went wrong - all he knew was that it had. 

When he thought about it, it probably went wrong the second they locked eyes across the interrogation table. She’d been vulnerable, and although he hand’t taken advantage, he had developed feelings and so had she; he couldn’t be there as much as he needed, so he broke it off,

The minute he turned his back to her apartment, he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. Y/N was everything he could’ve ever wanted in a relationship - kind, funny, beautiful, caring, but in her time of need, she required more than he could give; it wasn’t fair to either of them. She would come to resent his constant absence, and he fall deeper and deeper in love with her to the point where his heart would break upon her resentment. So he ended it. 

And I’ve moved further than I thought I could  
But I miss you more than I thought I would

That morning - the morning after he’d broken things off - he was so sure that he wasn’t going to recover, not so much because of their relationship, it was brief and intense, but because he had been so close to a long-lasting love so many times in his life, only to have the opportunity ripped away. He was so tired of being so close and yet so far.

Now though, he felt better. He got up and made himself a cup of coffee, using the mug she’d bought him. Over and over again, he told himself that he’d broken up with her for the right reason, and that had helped him move on, but he’d be lying to himself if he couldn’t admit that seeing the flower on the outside of the mug didn’t remind him of her. So many things reminded him. 

When he walked passed the garden in the park, the smell of lilacs engulfed him like the perfume she loved so much. The smiles of others on the sidewalk would bring back the memory of her sweet smile - though it rarely graced the world after all she’d been through. The softness of the scarf he sometimes wore had him remembering the feel of their hands as the entangled in the sheets of her bed. Even the shade of blue in the sky reminded him of the color of her favorite t-shirt. At first, all those memories made things difficult - it made it so much harder to move on, but now he looked forward to the reminders.

And I’ll use you as focal point  
So I don’t lose sight of what I want

And I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge  
Of how much to give and how much to take

From this point forward, he would use your time together as the comparison for everyone else. They would need to be kind. They would need to bring him out of his thoughts and into another world - a safer one. They would need to love with their whole heart. And they would need to be someone he would give anything for.

Through their affair had been brief, it had shown him everything he wanted and needed in his life, and for that, he would be forever thankful. For that, he would welcome the reminders - the color blue, the soft feel of his scarf, the smell of lilacs, the flower on his favorite coffee mug, and the shy smiles of strangers.


End file.
